From Ignorance to Mastery

I am ignorant. So are you. Face it. The reality is if I take every single thing I know, big and small, silly and profound, and compare it to all that there is to know in this vast universe then the only conclusion I can arrive at is that my knowledge is infinitesimally small and that I am VASTLY ignorant. I'm okay with that. It keeps my ego grounded and my mind open to learning. The Solution to Ignorance Fortunately, while I am ignorant (lacking knowledge) I'm not stupid (lacking intelligence). Thus, the great and simple solution to my ignorance is 1. Recognizing I am and 2. Acquiring knowledge via intellect, observation, experience, and reason.

This Solution to Ignorance is how I learned to repair my 1987 Ford Escort's (affectionately aka The POS) water pump in grad school. We had no money so I couldn't afford to let someone else's knowledge and skill save me from my ignorance.

The Ignorance to Mastery Process So I had to rely on the Ignorance to Mastery Process. I went from

  1. I don't know how (= Ignorance) to fix it, to...
  2. But it has to get fixed, to...
  3. I guess I'll have to figure it out, to...
  4. Gathering repair manuals and tools, to...
  5. Lots of trial and error and scraped knuckles (it was REALLY hard to get to!), to...
  6. Learning that breaking a 2x4 in half on the front bumper in sheer frustration does nothing to a. fix the problem nor b. impress your mother-in-law who happens to drop by at just that moment, to...
  7. Finally figuring it out (= Mastery)

Some variation of that Ignorance to Mastery Process is how I've overcome stuttering, learned to harness ADHD to my benefit, learned the 8 tonal Hmong language as a missionary in the field with no formal training, went from a know-nothing intern to a skilled strategist, developed a thriving private practice and speaking career, became a dad (though that didn't involve breaking any 2x4s), figured out how to turn a young naive couple (us) into a successful marriage, how to make and repair things in and around the house, rebuild my VW Bus engine, feel perfectly calm, compassionate and confident in the midst of clients threatening suicide on the other end of the phone, and pretty much every other single thing in my life. This is also how you've figured out anything, big or small, that you've done in your life.

Not knowing is hard. Ignorance sucks. We've all been there. Mastery, however, is fun. Mastery transforms the hard into the easy.

Why I Smile at My Client's Struggles So many people struggle feeling stuck in a crap marriage, feeling like they are failing their children or suffering in silence with a debilitating depression or addiction. They all come to me saying they've tried everything and nothing works. They are at the end of their rope. They despair. They don't know what to do. They feel broken.

It makes me smile inwardly. No, I'm not a sadist. I smile because I know a crucial secret: they aren't broken. I know they just lack key knowledge and skill sets. That equals ignorance. Well, we can fix ignorance. Ignorance is actually the easiest thing in the world to fix so long as someone is willing to, as I said above, 1. Recognize it and 2. Acquire knowledge.

So I smile because just by coming to my office they have done the first which allows us to get right to work on the second. And I'm well-practiced personally and professionally in this work that works. Like a veteran river raft guide I know what is around the bend. I know the joys, thrills, fears, adrenaline rushes, drops, currents, eddies, rapids and amazing vistas that await them. My confidence doesn't come from my ego. My confidence comes from knowledge. And that knowledge and confidence I get to transfer to them so they can have it, too.

I smile because I get to join in a part of these people's lives for a season and watch them go from ignorance and pain to knowledge and mastery. I get to see them go from the sucky and costly experience of ignorance to the fun of mastery in their marriages, their parenting and with themselves. It's simply THE coolest thing in the world to be a part of. Period.

And it makes me smile...

—[ PLEASE SHARE HOW YOU'VE GONE FROM IGNORANCE TO MASTERY IN YOUR LIFE ]—