Remember the song Cars by Gary Numan? He was the cutting edge of new wave in the late 70s/early 80s. Still one of my fav artists. For his 25th wedding anniversary, he wrote the most lovely post about his wife and their marriage. I liked it so much that I added it to my GREAT Relationship Masters blog:

On August 28, 2022, Mr. Numan posted on Facebook:

“Together for 30 years, married for 25 (today). Some have said, with kind intent no doubt, that our long time together is an ‘achievement.’ But it isn’t. An achievement is doing something difficult, overcoming obstacles. Being with Gemma is the best thing in the world, it’s not difficult, there are no obstacles, she is quite simply the only person in the world for me. Perfect. Even her annoying imperfections, of which she has many (like her ridiculous cure for jet-lag which she is fully employing at this very moment) add a certain friction now and then which itself creates that spark which keeps relationships exciting. So, even her small imperfections actually make her perfect. I wouldn’t change a thing about her, not one. If I could build the perfect partner for me and start again, I would build her, exactly as she is today, and again as she will be tomorrow, and forever, until time brings our life together to its inevitable end. Until that time though, I will continue to try to make myself better, to become the person she deserves to share her life with, and I’ll fail in that no doubt, because I am so very far from perfect. But she chose me, so that’s her fault 🙂 Happy Silver Anniversary wife 🥰”

While he says there are no obstacles and she’s perfect, I love that he isn’t actually saying they are perfect. He shares there are annoyances, conflicts, and the commitment to continue to improve. What is perfect is his attitude and perspective about marriage and how he approaches it (as I’m sure she does as well)

While he may never see my comment, I wrote:

“Happy anniversary! Congrats! Love to see good people being good to each other for a good long time! 🙂.

“Btw, I am a marriage and family therapist and collect stories of people in long-term, happy, committed relationships, like yours and Gemma’s, to share with my clients. People need to know it’s possible and, like anything, it’s good to have examples we can all learn something from.”

Here are two of his most famous songs: Cars (1979) and Are Friends Electric (1979). His recent stuff is pretty great, too!

And a love song, You Walk My Soul, which he wrote in 1994 for her. It’s my favorite kind of love song: one based in actual commitment, not just romantic feelings.