A shout out to any who are having a "Crap Day" or a "Crap Month" or a "Crap Life." Here's a little Rock Therapy for ya featuring "Just Wait" by Blues Traveler. To my dear client who asked today for reassurance: Thank you for asking. Rather than reach out and ask for help, too often people just put on a stupid "brave face" and suffer (needlessly!) in silence. Truth is we all need reassurance, especially in the dark times. That's one thing I can give freely, gladly and well. After much excruciatingly hard and painful work on this client's part, this person has chosen life and to face all that which is so hard to face. To this person: My respect. Reassurance? Well, here ya go, my friend:
"Just Wait" By Blues Traveler
If ever you are feeling like you're tired
And all your uphill struggles are headed downhill
If you realize your wildest dreams can hurt you
And your appetite for pain has drinken its fill
I ask of you a very simple question:
Did you think for one minute that you were alone?
And is your suffering a privilege you share only?
Or did you think that everybody else feels completely at home?
It will come
If you think I've given up on you, you're crazy
And if you think I dont love you well then you're just wrong
In time you just might take to feeling better
Time's a beauty, the road being long
I know that now you feel no consolation
But maybe if I told you and informed you out loud
I say this without fear of hesitation
I can honestly tell you that you make me proud.
If anything I might have said now has helped you
If anything I might've just said helped you just carry on
Your rise uphill may no longer seem a struggle
And your appetite for pain may all but be gone
I hope for you and cannot stop that hoping
Until that smile has once again returned to your face
There's no such thing as a failure who keeps trying
Coasting to the bottom is the only disgrace
Rock Therapy Lessons from This Song
This is one of the most beautifully compassionate songs I've ever heard. It is an anthem to me and to all who suffer and struggle in the muck and the mire of the seemingly impossible. There is hope and please know there are people out there who just really care. I do.
There are so many great lessons in this song that I could comment on. I'll touch on just three:
You don't need to suffer in silence.
"Did you think for one minute that you were alone? And is your suffering a privilege you share only? Or did you think that everybody else feels completely at home?"
One thing I've learned is that the human common denominator we all share is suffering. That's not negative. It's just reality. Henry David Thoreau said, "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." Sadly, I've observed that to be true. Further, people get caught in the comparison trap where they think others have it so much better and are "completely at home" in their own skin and lives. Some are. Most aren't. I can't tell you how many externally successful people I've worked with have had all the same insecurities, fears and doubts that I and my other clients have had at one time or another. When people think they are alone in their suffering then they don't reach out for help for fear of being seen as "the messed up one", "the crazy one", or "the one who can't hack it." Well, the truth is most people at one time or another have (or will) suffer deeply. No one is alone and the more we reach out to one another the more we can be there for one another. Christ said, "Blessed are those who mourn with those who mourn." I can relate to Him because he could relate to me and others as He Himself was described as "a man of sorrow, well acquainted with grief." Who can't relate to that? The word compassion (which we all so need!) comes from the the Latin "compati" which means "to suffer with." I'm not on this planet to live a life of convenience. I'm here to help my sisters and my brothers as best as I can: And that means all of us. Please, let's be there for each other in each other's suffering and ease one another's burden as best we can. You, friend, are not alone.
Fail to Succeed!
"There's no such thing as a failure who keeps trying."
My favorite saying comes from the Japanese proverb, "Fall down seven. Get up eight." That's my life story in six words. Look at ANY great success story in any area of life. They all have one thing in common: They failed many times on their way to succeeding. I've found that we don't succeed in spite of our failures; we succeed in direct proportion to our failures. Several years ago I began saying to myself, "I'm failing to succeed" as a double-meaning reminder to myself to stay encouraged in the midst of struggles: Even when I am failing at something I'm still not failing to actually succeed; I'm failing as the trial and error learning curve path towards success. Just as we all did when we learned to walk and talk and ride a bike. I say it also in good times when I make mistakes as a reminder that if I'm going to succeed I'm going to make mistakes—that mistakes are a necessary part of learning.
Hold Out Hope.
"I hope for you and I cannot stop that hoping."
I cannot stop that hoping. I can't, folks. It's not in me. I'm a hopemonger. The underdog is my favorite person. The chain-breakers are my peeps. I feel it a duty and an honor to hold hope for the hopeless until they can learn to embrace and own it for themselves. I believe in people when they don't believe in themselves. I have faith in them when they don't. And here's my secret: I'm almost always right to do so. Those who've been written off often find me being the only one who still believes in the them. "We'll, you're re only one" I've often heard. Well, that's my badge of honor. That's a high compliment and I'm proud to be the only one—to stand alone with them. And the cool thing is that I'm rarely wrong. Not only is it nice to believe in people, but quite frankly it's just a smart strategy because people who are believed in change. As Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said, "Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be, and he will become as he can and should be." And you know what my four favorite words to say to that person when they turn the corner and learn how amazing they are and how worth life is living? "I told you so." That's one "I told you so" that no one minds hearing. "I told you you could do it. I knew you'd make it. See, you are amazing!" And they'll often still say, "You were the only one." Can you imagine the thrill of that? The humbling sense of gratitude to have been given that private, sacred trust to walk through the depths of another soul's deepest anguish? To "mourn with those that mourn" is a much needed response in this world.
Listen to more resiliency-based rock songs in the Rock Therapy section:
See more resiliency-based songs of all genres at my "Musical First Aid Kit" collection:
— Share how YOU rock out your problems in the comments below —