ADHD and Zombie Torches

Zombie torches
Zombie torches

Ever wonder what an ADHD professional who works on his own does when he gets distracted off task? Well, naturally, he makes torches in preparation for the Zombie Apocalypse. Duh! Build Your Own!


  1. Wick: Find some old clothes that you would normally throw away. This is how it all started--I was on task with putting laundry away when I found a tattered pair of jeans and a ripped dress shirt... The torches above use one half of a pair of jeans and one full dress shirt.
  2. Handle: Get 2' to 3' long sticks (save old broom handles as any handyman/tinkerer can tell you they are handy for many projects). The ones pictured are 3' long. I prefer the longer length for the following reasons: a. Keeps fire (and dripping torch pieces) away from my hands; b. Ability to wave in a cool arc from side to side for greater visibility as well as for the cool whooshing torch on fire sound; and c. The better to whack away zombies with.
  3. Fastener: I wrapped these with bailing wire so when they burn down the criss-crossing wire will act like a cage to hold the torch together as long as possible. I then wrap the ends of the wire around a small nail so as I'm whipping the torch to and fro the torch head won't fly off. Yeah, smart thinking, I know.
  4. Fuel: Either soak them in melted wax ahead of time or douse them in kerosine or gasoline when the time comes. The wax method is preferable as they are completely ready before hand and won't use valuable fuel. Also, the wax method makes them waterproof.
  5. Voila! Defend your home, light the way, have fun.

You can 'dis ADHD as being a "deficit" and a "disorder" all you like, but when the zombies attack you'll be calling on me for extra torches! People often feel bad about having ADHD. Not me. They ask, what are the upsides of ADHD. Plenty and many. There are as many (and more) upsides to ADHD than there are downsides in both my personal and professional experience. I'll address this later in a more serious-minded post... Stay tuned...

All joking and fun aside, torches are a simple and practical emergency preparedness item. However, preparing for a Zombie Apocalypse is more funner than preparing for a temporary power outage.