Parenting > Marketing Disconnection: When Did "You don't have to connect with your kids" Become a Selling Point?

Parenting > Marketing Disconnection: When Did "You don't have to connect with your kids" Become a Selling Point?

This car ad is touting quiet, non-interactive children as a primary benefit of a car with built-in wifi. Now bear in mind I'm a big tech fan and readily welcome advances. However, I'd rather hear my child in her boredom come up with something imaginative like "I'm jumping on a chocolate chip trampoline" than have them plugged in and tuned out. 

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7 Red Lines: The Importance of Having a Realistic Approach to Change

7 Red Lines: The Importance of Having a Realistic Approach to Change

People come wanting a solution to a train wreck of a marriage: Save our marriage and transform it into a truly GREAT relationship. "Certainly. That's what I'm here for and I love to help people do... Let's get cracking...". And then they proceed to tell me how it should be constructed based on myths, what they heard, opinions and preferences that are contrary to how healthy relationships actually function; in what ridiculously short time frame it should occur; with minimal to no actual study, practice and effort on their part because  "really it shouldn't be this hard" nor "take this long." And then if they don't accomplish their goals in those parameters they quit therapy saying, "Well, we tried. Counseling just doesn't work." And they stay discouraged and stuck. 

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Be Crazy in Love with Your Kid

Be Crazy in Love with Your Kid

Sadly, too many children lack this, and it affects them profoundly. Please tell your children often that you love them and give them specifics as to why. They hang on to it years later in ways you may never know. There as some key loving things that my mother said to me as a child and teenager that have shaped the person I am today.

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Talking to Your Kids About the School Shootings

Talking to Your Kids About the School Shootings

After the horrific school shootings in Connecticut I was asked the important question what do you tell your children and grandchildren about such tragedies; How do you talk them through it? There's a lot of things you can say. What they need to hear is the truth: Both sides of it. This is what I told my four children:

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From Ignorance to Mastery

From Ignorance to Mastery

I am ignorant. So are you. Face it. The reality is if I take every single thing I know, big and small, silly and profound, and compare it to all that there is to know in this vast universe then the only conclusion I can arrive at is that my knowledge is infinitesimally small and that I am VASTLY ignorant. I'm okay with that. It keeps my ego grounded and my mind open to learning. Fortunately, there is a solution to ignorance... 
 

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5 Free Articles for Parents: "The Children & Divorce Series"

5 Free Articles for Parents: "The Children & Divorce Series"

I was fortunate enough to be able to teach Utah's Divorce Parenting classes for 11 years and to be a family therapist for 18 years now. The research from my profession is undoubtably valuable, but the best teachers I've ever had have been all the wonderful parents and children who've simply gone through divorce and step-family transitions. It ain't no easy task! Those who've been through it can empathize and clearly know what they are talking about having been "in the trenches" themselves. I did, too, when I was six and the aftermath went on for years (Hmmm... I wonder why I became a marriage and family therapist....?). From both my profession's research and from the hundreds of families I've worked with I've written these articles.

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Leveraging the Asset of ADHD—From Michael Phelps to a Regular Little Boy

Leveraging the Asset of ADHD—From Michael Phelps to a Regular Little Boy

I wouldn't trade my ADHD brain for anything. Love it. I also love to see high acheivers like Michael Phelps who has ADHD highlighted as it helps remove the unfortunate stigma around a brain difference that I don't see as either a deficit nor a disorder. Sadly most people don't see it as the tremendous asset it can be and only see the deficit/disorder side to it.

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The Answers You Get

The Answers You Get

I often remind people to be careful when seeking my advice and counsel: "Do you want the answer you want to hear or that is easiest to hear or do you want the answer you need to hear even if it's hard to hear?" For example, on one daddy daughter date last year with my teen girl I asked her, "How am I doing as a dad? What can I do better or differently to help you?" The answer I got really surprised me.

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It may be obvious, but I like to make it even more so.

It may be obvious that I love my family madly, crazy, nutso, gonzo, but I like to make it even more so.

It's just hard hard to make anyone feel too loved or appreciated. I like to flood my family with as many subtle and obvious messages that they are noticed, loved and wonderful.

How do YOU appreciate your family? Please share your ideas.

— For more tips, strategies and resources for creating truly GREAT relationships with self and others visit http://JonathanSherman.net —

Teaching Children Anger Management

Taught 11-year-old daughter learning to control her anger is as learnable as controlling a car via the speedometer, steering wheel, gas/brakes of emotion regulation. She felt bad before about not being able to control her anger and was crying, poor thing.

I'll post the copies of the worksheets she and I came up with together and sometime I'll describe the process in greater depth. For now, let me just share: She felt empowered! I love being able to help my children navigate the tricky waters of life.

Any Dad's Relate to the Work of the Woman, the Craft of the Father?

From one of my fav movies. Any dads relate?

"I stand outside this woman's work. Now starts the craft of the father." —Kate Bush, This Woman's Work, from the movie She's Having a Baby

Please honor the mother of your children. Work your craft to be a father of honor.


BONUS: "This Woman's Work" cover by Maxwell