realist expectations roadmap-navigating marital myths Many couples have high hopes on their wedding day for never ending marital bliss; then reality hits. Every relationship has ups and downs. This workshop will discuss how to be realistic in expectations for relationships and make our own marital bliss out of sometimes unexpected twists and turns.



Evaluation Results

To Event Organizers: I don’t filter my evaluation results—I give them here as straight as I get them. I figure if you’re making the important decision to select the right speaker for your group is it 1. better to just get filtered positive only testimonials about a potential speaker or 2. to know how people respond to the speaker including both those who loved it and didn’t? So if someone thought I stunk you’ll hear it hear first.

Obviously, I don’t try to make everyone happy. Part of my utility is to get people out of their comfort zones. If the majority love an approach I use in a seminar I’ll continue those items that resonate with most. If the majority hate an approach I’ll drop it. If one or two people don’t like what the majority love, then I don’t give much heed to those critiques, of course. However, I appreciate all feedback, which is one of the reasons my evaluation results are consistently high: My audiences teach me what they like and what works best for them and I listen.

My evaluation form contains the following items:

  • 1-10 Rating: “Please rate your overall experience of this presentation”

  • The Good: “What was brilliant, superb, exhilarating, life-altering, or opened the heavens for you? In short, what did you like about the presentation?
  • One Thing: “What’s one thing that you plan on using and/or implementing into your life from this presentation?” This tells me out of everything what was the one thing that had the most meaningful impact.
  • The Bad: “What stunk, turned your stomach, gave you a headache, made  you dizzy, or gave you gas? In short, what didn’t you like that could be improved and/or what would you like to see covered that wasn’t? (Go ahead, I can take it!)”
  • Requested eZine: This is actually also an evaluation measure: You’d think that someone who would give a lower rating didn’t like the presentation. However, while it may not have been the favorite for that person, they got enough out of it that they would like to receive emails containing articles, tips, strategies and events on these topics from me.

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Northern Utah Marriage Celebration February 8, 2013, Weber State University, Ogden, UT

Attended: 100 (approx) Evals returned: 45 Average Rating: 9.4

[table]Rating,The Good,One Thing,The Bad,eZine? 10,"I teach a class at USU on how to present in the community. My biggest love here in your presentation? NO BULLET POINTS in the PowerPoint! It was beautiful, and he was so clear with how he used it and wove into his presentation.","I'm totally going to use the comics in a class I teach on marriage education.",--,-- 10,"Great orator. Knows his material.",--,--,-- 10,Helpful,Staying away from negatives.,More ideas of how to apply into your life. More examples.,Y 10,""Foreplay takes two weeks!" ;-) We don't do greatness on luck. Relationship over task. It's hard and it's supposed to be",--,--,Y 10,--,--,--,Y 10,Myth-busting. How to communicate.,--,--,Y 10,Confident in his presentation. Great sense of humor. Very helpful information. Priceless!,Creating an OUR WAY Plan blueprint.,Some slides went too fast on.,Y 10,Learning the realistic-ness of marriage and communication. Setting up the OUR WAY Plan. The 5:1 magic ratio.,5:1 positive interactions,--,Y 10,I loved the clear slides. Loved the info and I am intrigued to learn more. I know I am interested because I plan to visit his website. Loved the info quickly given. Nothing was talked about too long.,Our Way Plan. Passing this info to my sister and mom. Realizing that "normal" is often not glamorous.,--,Y 10,I liked the facts.,5 C's of Relation Creation. The Our Way Plan,--,Y 10,Liked the myths and data., Will be checking out your website., Too short :-),Y 10,Communication myths. Compatiblity and chemistry--too shaky to build relationship on because we don't control these. Marital satisfaction.,--,--,Y 10,Our Way Plan, Our Way Plan,Nothing,Y 10,Great information based on facts and data vs. myths. Delivered in an engaging and very motivating and inspiring way.,--,Didn't see anything bad. Great job!,Y 10,Loved the energy. Idea that it's just biology.,Our Way Plan,Talked very fast--however loved the abundance of information!,-- 9,Great enthusiasm. You know your subject well!,--,--,Y 9,5 C's of Relation Creation was informative. Positive presentation. Opportunities within marriage. "Stick it out." Work on marriage!,Our Way Plan,--,Y 9,Focus on myths. Ways to beat the odds., Realizing the myths,It was all great! Thank you so much!,Y 9,There will be success in marriage if you work at it. There is hope.,Using appreciation more.,More tips on improving relationships. Yes everyone is different or how to express expectations and meet expectations of your spouse.,Y 9,Jonathan kept things real and provided great information. He made it easy to stay attentive.,Communicate within the boundaries of good behavior.,--,Y 9,Very organized. Very clear communication., Rel/Task and 5:1 and 20:1 pos:neg ratios., None,-- 9,Equations of positive to negative. Intimacy equation.,--,--,Y 9,Marriage is a building process.,5:1 ratio. Intimacy equation.,--,Y 9,Specific with suggestions,--,--,Y 9,Good!,Clarifiying communication 3x's--The 3 C's of Communication,--,Y 9,Loved your class. It wasn't over my head. I loved it and will be taking it into my relationship and it will be improved., I will use the 'Our Way' Plan.,--,Y 9,Clarify clarify clarify! :-), The 'Our Way' Plan.,--,-- 9,"Really well organized. Good presentation and use of time. 5:1 = life altering to me. Family life cycle = life altering. Would it be possible to break that down by number of years, school, job changes, etc.?",5:1 and Our Way plan,--,Y 9,Clear logical information. Practical take-aways. Lots of info., Undersrtanding communication is lots of miscommunication and that that's normal,--,-- 9,The myths were right on the spot.,Work on slowing down and explaining better.,Better lighting,Y 9,Good useful information, Not sure yet,Lots of info--short time,-- 9,interesting that chemistry changes over times and that it is not a basis for a healthy relationship.,--,--,-- 9,Explaining WHY the myths are incorrect really helped. The myth 'they should just know what I'm thinking' really hit home.,OUR WAY PLAN,I really have no criticism,-- 9,--,--,--,Y 8,"I liked how this topic was presented--interesting, informative, engaging.",Our Way Plan,--,Y 8,"The information was great! I appreciated that he talked about "normal" and gave principles and steps to aid in successful marriage.","The Our Way Plan.",--,Y 8,The Gottman info,5:1 ratio,--,-- 8,PPT graphics were engaging. Good content.,Rel/Task,--,-- 8,The power of knowledge. Positives to negatives., More positive. Relationship over tasks.,--,Y 7,Myth #3 This shouldn't be this hard. I'm guilty of saying that.,--,--,-- 7,--,--,--,Y 7,5:1,5:1,--,Y 7,"The last 3 C's that we do have control over: choice, commitment, creation.",More creativity. More specific communication with my husband.,More specific applicable ways to be and have realistic expectations.,Y 7,Knowledge with examples. Enthusiasm.,Not being so critical.,"Sometimes seemed like a sales pitch for counseling. Reply by Jonathan: Yep! Even though I wasn't pitching my services I definitely and strongly recommend counseling as an intelligent strategy and means for learning how to have a truly GREAT Relationship. I mean, really, why wouldn't you?!",Y 7,humorous. Understanding what to look for.,--,I was looking for a solid to-do list,Y [/table]