People come wanting a solution to a train wreck of a marriage: Save our marriage and transform it into a truly GREAT relationship. "Certainly. That's what I'm here for and I love to help people do... Let's get cracking...". And then they proceed to tell me how it should be constructed based on myths, what they heard, opinions and preferences that are contrary to how healthy relationships actually function; in what ridiculously short time frame it should occur; with minimal to no actual study, practice and effort on their part because "really it shouldn't be this hard" nor "take this long." And then if they don't accomplish their goals in those parameters they quit therapy saying, "Well, we tried. Counseling just doesn't work." And they stay discouraged and stuck.Read More
Strategies and mindsets for developing Marriage Mastery, Parent Training, and Self-Mastery.
See Jonathan's other related blog projects in the sidebar:
- The Q&A Series
- The GR Masters Project
- The 52 Love Songs Project
- The 365 Love Quotes Project
- Rock Therapy
- In the News
"Well, Jonathan, that's easier said than done." This is a common phrase and objection I hear from people when we talk about creating a GREAT relationship overall and/or specific strategies towards that goal. My response is...Read More
Been bopping around Disneyland the past few days with the fam. Disneyland in my opinion is Customer Sevice Mecca. If you care about customer service like I do (as a relationship strategist I teach and coach on it in the corporate world as well as teaching the customer service mindset as a core relationship strategy in marriage and family work) then Disney not only practices what they preach, they eat, breathe, walk and talk it. They even have a musical number centered around the concept: Watch "Be Our Guest" from the movie Beauty and the Beast.
"Be our guest, be our guest! Put our service to the test."
I was. And I did.
And once again I was wowed! And once again reminded about how to do relationships, any relationship, right.
Watch the vid. This is how they approach it. The amazing amount of people pressing in on these people is astounding. Yet they remain energetic, enthusiastic, talkative, engaging and persistently patient and pleasant. Even when dealing with moronic or obstinate customers they treat them with kindness and respect (i.e., the classic "When's the 3:00 o'clock parade?" question).
Just as in the above clip, they like to not only give great customer service, they also like to show it off and have fun doing it. They like to make a big deal out of great customer service. And what do people do? They, like me, talk about it. And we want more. And we come back for more. Again, and again, and again. Sounds just like what most marriages need (especially with such crappy stats)...
Q: So how do you apply, or think could be applied, "Be Our Guest" customer service in marriage and family relationships?
The key to a GREAT relationship is REALLY understanding, which is the soul of compassion. To know someone so fully that you can see past what you disagree with about them to what really makes them tick. To fully understand them as they are instead of as they "should" be opens up the door to truly loving someone.Read More
From one of my fav movies. Any dads relate?
"I stand outside this woman's work. Now starts the craft of the father." —Kate Bush, This Woman's Work, from the movie She's Having a Baby
Please honor the mother of your children. Work your craft to be a father of honor.
BONUS: "This Woman's Work" cover by Maxwell
The following questions have been collected from pre-questionnaires I submit to church groups before I speak to them. Many of the questions are universal and of interest to many so I thought I'd share them here with you.