MARRIAGE MASTERY Tip 6: See the other's view
Consider these words from Martin Luther King, Jr. (1967) the next time you engage in conflict with your partner and you perceive them as the enemy: "Here is the true meaning and value of compassion and nonviolence when it helps us to see the enemy's point of view, to hear his questions, to know his assessment of ourselves. For from this view we many indeed see the basic weaknesses of our own condition, and if we are mature, we may learn and grow and profit from the wisdom of the brothers who are called the opposition." Let us honor these words not only for their historical significance. Let us also honor them in our very personal creation of peace in our up-close and personal relationships today. Peace, my friends, is a practice, not a wish.
MARRIAGE MASTERY Tip 7: Seek the hidden compliment in the complaint.
Who can guess what the compliment is?
MARRIAGE MASTERY Tip 8: Learn to take your PARTner's part.
You've likely become a master at defending your own side. Now become skilled at defending your partner's side. High level skill, yes. But why not? It's hard to do, but the results are incredible!
MARRIAGE MASTERY Tip 9: Mind the toxins
"They had lived together for so many years that they mistook their arguments for conversation." —Marjorie Kellogg. Don't become "comfortably numb" to the Four Relationship Poisons of criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. Get the full article here: http://themarriageacademy.com/Articles/Four%20Relationship%20Poisons.pdf
MARRIAGE MASTERY Tip 10 Use the Four Relationship Antidotes...
of Calm Down, Speak Non-defensively, Validation and Overlearning. Full article here: http://themarriageacademy.com/Articles/Four%20Relationship%20Antidotes.pdf