Self-Mastery: De-fusing Triggering Words with CBT

Self-Mastery: De-fusing Triggering Words with CBT

"Sometimes words can become your worst enemy. Clinical psychologist and cognitive behavioural therapist Dr Jane Gregory tells how to defuse their power." —Helen Zaltzman, The Allusionist Podcast

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"Good enough" is Both Good and Enough

"Good enough" is Both Good and Enough

Please, (PLEASE!) banish the comparison/"not good enough trap". For too many people "good enough" is settling because they didn't achieve perfection or excellence in X thing/endeavor/aspect of life. 

People (maybe even you) are constantly living in mortal fear that they have not reached the "standard" of how they "should" be, that they have, or will, "screw it all up" and ultimately fail... 

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7 Red Lines: The Importance of Having a Realistic Approach to Change

7 Red Lines: The Importance of Having a Realistic Approach to Change

People come wanting a solution to a train wreck of a marriage: Save our marriage and transform it into a truly GREAT relationship. "Certainly. That's what I'm here for and I love to help people do... Let's get cracking...". And then they proceed to tell me how it should be constructed based on myths, what they heard, opinions and preferences that are contrary to how healthy relationships actually function; in what ridiculously short time frame it should occur; with minimal to no actual study, practice and effort on their part because  "really it shouldn't be this hard" nor "take this long." And then if they don't accomplish their goals in those parameters they quit therapy saying, "Well, we tried. Counseling just doesn't work." And they stay discouraged and stuck. 

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Guest Blogger Kara Sherman on "Managing My Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)"

Guest Blogger Kara Sherman on "Managing My Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)"

Over the past month my Seasonal Affective Disorder has gone into overdrive with the onset of winter and less sunlight every day. I experience it in different degrees every year. Some years I don't experience it at all. This year it's obnoxious in it's intensity. My chronic neck pain has returned and my head has hurt for 5 days in a row (thank goodness for Exedrin and Dr Pepper) not to mention wanting to sleep All. The. Time. and becoming a hermit. But there are things I do to keep myself above and on top of the depression

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Guest Blogger: Katrina Wride VanWagenen on "Managing Stress by Mindfully Owning Your AWESOMENESS"

Guest Blogger: Katrina Wride VanWagenen on "Managing Stress by Mindfully Owning Your AWESOMENESS"

Sharing your experiences of trials, pain, acceptance, and endurance that shows me who you are. Keep on going, brighten your day and someone else's. Make a go to list of things that make you awesome, and things that bring a smile to your face when life seems a tad overwhelming, or hugely overwhelming.

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AWESOMENESS, "Failure" and The Woes and Wins of Entrepreneurship

AWESOMENESS, "Failure" and The Woes and Wins of Entrepreneurship

"I AM AWESOME!" is not a statement of arrogance or self-delusion—it's recognizing that who you ARE is based in a state of BEING not based on DOING. Accomplishing things and being successful in this or that aspect is important and meaningful, of course, but it's NOT the place to start. OWN that you ARE awesome REGARDLESS of what you DO. Why?

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Emotion Regulation: Graphic & Lesson

Emotion Regulation: Graphic & Lesson

Emotion regulation doesn't need to be a "high level" concept. It's as simple and basic as understanding how to operate any other mechanical device—which, kids by the way, excel at. So teach them how to operate their own bio-machinery they live in each and every day. Of course, it helps the teaching if we as the adults actually model it for them... The good news is the above graphic/concept is so simple kids can totally get it. 

 

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    From Ignorance to Mastery

    From Ignorance to Mastery

    I am ignorant. So are you. Face it. The reality is if I take every single thing I know, big and small, silly and profound, and compare it to all that there is to know in this vast universe then the only conclusion I can arrive at is that my knowledge is infinitesimally small and that I am VASTLY ignorant. I'm okay with that. It keeps my ego grounded and my mind open to learning. Fortunately, there is a solution to ignorance... 
     

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    A Circle Is a Nice Thing to Have

    A Circle Is a Nice Thing to Have

    I doodle and sketch to entertain myself and my children. It actually helps me pay attention. Doodling can do that for ADHD folks like me. Many things are "just because." Like how a circle is just a nice thing to have. Let me explain...

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    Guest Blogger: Scale: Zero. Woman: Won!

    Guest Blogger: Scale: Zero. Woman: Won!

    Hi Readers, as you know, my relationship with my clients is private and confidential—meaning I never disclose my clients names nor their information unless I have their express permission to do so. This is one of those situations. Amanda wanted to share this experience publicly for the benefit of others who may also be suffering with an eating disorder, body image and/or self-esteem issues. Further, she wished to do it openly instead of anonymously to demonstrate to herself that she no longer needs to hide from nor be ashamed of who she is. I have great respect for her, and for all, who break the chains of silence and seek help for themselves and offer it to others. Read on...

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    The Strength of Ten

    The Strength of Ten
    My strength is as the strength of ten,
    Because my heart is pure.
    —Lord Alfred Tennyson

    My mother shared the last two lines with me when I was a teenager. I was going through some tough times as I was trying to straighten out my life. As I did so, I was struggling with the backlash I got from what turned out to be false friends. That quote really struck a chord and gave me strength when I greatly needed it. I've never forgotten that quote and have oft remembered it when I needed courage.

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    Leveraging the Asset of ADHD—From Michael Phelps to a Regular Little Boy

    Leveraging the Asset of ADHD—From Michael Phelps to a Regular Little Boy

    I wouldn't trade my ADHD brain for anything. Love it. I also love to see high acheivers like Michael Phelps who has ADHD highlighted as it helps remove the unfortunate stigma around a brain difference that I don't see as either a deficit nor a disorder. Sadly most people don't see it as the tremendous asset it can be and only see the deficit/disorder side to it.

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    MLK, Jr. Day "I Have a Dream" Activity

    MLK, Jr. Day "I Have a Dream" Activity

    Most people have seen clips from Martin Luther King, Jr.'s "I Have a Dream Speech" but most haven't actually seen/heard/read the full 17-minute speech, which is masterful and profound. This is a simple activity based on this speech we've done as a family that you can do with your family, students or youth group.

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    Thoughts on Nonviolence and MLK, Jr.'s Legacy

    Thoughts on Nonviolence and MLK, Jr.'s Legacy

    Martin Luther King, Jr. Day is a more than a holiday to me, it is a Holy Day where I honor not only this great man, my hero, but even more importantly the principles he took a stand for. He is one of the key people who have influenced my thinking,  have shaped the nature of my soul and the "content of my character." This is a holy day to me because the principles of nonviolence are sacred to me in my personal life and my professional work in ending abuse and violence and increasing peaceful, loving relationships at home, work, community and school...

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