"The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost."
—G. K. Chesterton
THE LOVE NOTE
We live in a changing and uncertain world. Our kids keep growing and I as I embrace each new stage of their development I also grieve the one past. Because of that I try to be with them as much as I can. I refuse to be the father who looks back on his relationship with his kids and utters, "If only...".
Further, I try to be a loving and appreciative husband to you because I know too well how easily people can be hurt, marriages can be damaged and relationships lost. I refuse to let that happen to us. I know you do, too, which is why you are so very good to me. I do realize that all the good I have can be lost through ignorance, carelessness and stupidity. As Chesterton said, I belive it is because of this awareness that I do not take you or them for granted and that I am fully able to love you and the children as we all deserve.
THE GREAT RELATIONSHIP PRINCIPLE
Refuse to Take Her/Him for Granted, EVER. There's a STUPID old saying that says, "You always hurt the ones you love." While I understand how that happens, it seems like a cop-out and a lame one at that. Seems to me that if anyone on the planet deserves your best it is those you have sworn to honor, love and protect: Spouse and children.
We give our best to our customers, the store clerk, the neighbor, the friend, the stranger. That is good and right. Those people all deserve to be treated with respect, civility, kindness, and good manners. Of course, it's easier with those people because we don't live with those people day after day, year after year. Naturally, when we live so closely we get on each others nerves, get stressed, and snap at each other. However, rather than seeing that as an excuse for bad behavior it should provide us with all the more reason to be even on our better behaivor, to watch ourselves, to learn and practice the skills to master strong emotions and to discipline our behaviors.
What skills, what practices? Oh, man, there are so many great things available to us. Some of my personal and professional favorites have become the ones I teach the most: Mindfulness practices, Building Strong Families with ACCCTS principles and skills, Marketing the GREAT Relationship Brand in Your Relationships, and so many more (seminars and articles) Come learn them in private coaching or invite me to speak to your group or event.
The phrase "You always hurt the ones you love" is the pre-cursor to "You don't know what you've got til it's gone." Two tragic, and wholly avoidable, cliches that can be, and should be, stricken from our relationship lexicon. Thus, Chesterton's quote is a simple key to preventing both of these lame cliches.